THE ART OF STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY
above. A prototype is an original or first model of something from which other forms are copied or developed; a first or early example that is used as a model for what comes later.^18
The kindergartners created a prototype early on during the eighteen minutes they were given. This gave them something to build upon. They used the marshmallow at each stage of the process to see whether their structure could withstand the weight of the marshmallow and then used that prototype to build it even higher.
Almost all of the other teams built their structure and at the very end of the eighteen minutes decided to put the marshmallow on top only to find that their structure was not able to hold the marshmallow. A crisis followed, and people had to act fast to try to beat the clock.
When teams were introduced to the idea of a prototype and incentiv- ized with a prize at the end, teams excelled in this process. They understood that collaboration was more important than who had the idea—they worked together and developed stronger structures.
This whole idea sounds silly until we look at our own relationships. What prototype or model do our relationship(s) with others follow after? Are we building on a healthy prototype, or are we going down the path of relationship and it collapses because someone placed a marshmallow on it—they introduced a challenge, difficulty, or a heavily-weighted issue?
Jesus gave us the perfect prototype for healthy relationships in the Scrip- tures. He offered us the example of building relationships based on humility and the fruits of the Spirit, which are by-products of being connected to God and being “one” in unity with Him. When we are in unity with God, His relational attributes will not only be evident, but should become the foundation of all our relationships—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22–23).
Each one of these fruits is foundational to healthy relationships. All of them have to do with how we react to others, but only one of them defines for us what our response should be, not our reaction—self-control. It takes self-control to respond with love, joy, peace, patience, and so on.
What would it look like if our relationships at home, work, friendships, and so forth, were structurally sound? We only need to look at Jesus. We can be sure that a relationship based on the example of how Jesus lived would be able to withstand whatever weight is placed on it.
Think about a bridge, like the Golden Gate in San Francisco, California. Let’s say that a relationship is also like a bridge. A bridge spans a gap between